Not as funny as the last post. Not very funny period.

"We cannot enter conflict if we can't first work with confusion."

This quote resonated with me today. I heard it from a teacher of a class I sat in on at Mars Hill Graduate School. We cannot be sure enough to engage fully in conflict if we don't first work out of a place of confusion...struggling to stay in a place of openness, creating space for possibility and connections to find us.

The more I learn about this Counseling Psychology program at MHGS, the more it sounds like art school to me. A large part of my time in art school was spent finding my process. And of course the process is ever-changing so the life of the artist becomes a continual journey of finding the process. What seemed to become most effective for me in creating was what I came to call "collecting." When I am starting a project, I begin collecting. I gather quotes, newspaper clippings, magazine articles, photos, videos, anything that is speaking to me in a focused way. I try my best to maintain space and openness surrounding these gathered objects/ideas/words because I don't want to start judging and labeling too early. I need stay in a place of exploration and discovery until I have enough to begin making connections. My personal struggle is ALWAYS to be able to stay in this place of exploration long enough. I want to start connecting, sorting, and naming before I'm really done collecting. But this will not help me in the end. Why? Because by entering a territory in my mind where I'm sorting, I have closed off exploration. With the above quote in mind, I have entered "conflict" without being in "confusion."

We (everyone...the entire human population...don't think you are left out) are so quick to separate, judge, label, name. This is what makes us human and it can be really wonderful but I think we need to be careful not to close off possibility with this trait. Many times, I really believe that if we can stay honestly open (and this is a hard place to be...we must stay truthful and honest in our openness) then connections find us. This happened to me time and again during the "creative process." If I could hold out long enough and keep collecting, the connections between my objects/quotes/words/photos/videos would almost make the connections themselves. Like a puzzle with magnetic pieces. Suddenly, I can see an image forming.

This teacher today with the briliant quote also spoke about the Garden of Eden. Where did our need to separate come from? Could it be from the very beginning, when we were presented with the tree of Good and Evil? Before this, was it even necessary for humans to be aware of good vs. evil? Now, because of what happened in the garden, we must work out our confusion to even enter our conflict. I hope to be someone who collects before I separate. Someone who works out of confusion (because confusion does not have to be negative) and in my honest exploration, the connections find me.

Still thinking about all of this. Processing out loud. And now going to bed.